A Purpose in Life

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” —Woody Allen

Over zucchini bread and coffee, I chatted with two women at a Pella, Iowa, senior-living facility. I asked them about their adjustment to their current living arrangement.

“I just wish I could volunteer somewhere,” said Emma wistfully.

Kathleen grew suddenly pensive. “I do too,” she said.

“We don’t have cars, so it is hard to go anywhere,” explained Emma.

A few minutes earlier, Kathleen had been animated as she talked of her first retirement volunteer work. She had tutored first-graders experiencing difficulty learning to read.

I thought, “Emma and Kathleen feel a lack of purpose. They want to feel useful.” I had just been reading about aging and the need for a sense of purpose in life.

A sense of purpose is not simply a specific end goal. It includes our ongoing impact on the world. It is the “why” of our lives.

Earlier in life we often find purpose in our occupations and in raising our children. Later in life we become empty nesters, and often we have retired. Our earlier purpose in life maybe faded or disappeared. Loss of a sense of purpose is associated with poorer health. One four-year study of older adults revealed that those without a sense of purpose were almost twice as likely to die during the course of that study.

Study after study reveals many positive associations with a sense of purpose later in life. Some studies have shown that a sense of purpose is associated with keeping our brains active and preventing memory loss. A sense of purpose in life also lowers our risk of developing heart disease; it lowers our level of physical disabilities and depression.

Unfortunately, no magic potion or program offers us a ready-made purpose in life. We can’t just sit down, invent one, and solve the problem. Purpose in life develops gradually over time.

Finding a sense of purpose can begin by asking what gives us joy. Purpose can be found in the place where what we love meets what the world needs. That purpose isn’t necessarily huge. Each of us lives in just one tiny corner of the universe.

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl offered helpful ideas about developing a sense of purpose in life. Frankl believed each of us possesses a healthy core that can find purpose and meaning. We discover that core through activity and interaction, not through just sitting and thinking about our purpose.

Frankl said we can discover meaning by redirecting our attention from ourselves to others. We can teach Sunday school or lead a scout troop. We can help with crafts at vacation Bible school. We can provide a meal for someone recovering from surgery. Religious beliefs, too, can offer meaning to life.

Frankl said we can also discover the meaning of our lives through what we create. We can write letters to the editor. We can take up knitting or painting or woodworking. At 80, my mother-in-law began to cover wire hangers with yarn and to gift them to friends and family.

We can also discover meaning through our experiences and connections. We can take a dance class, watch a documentary, or travel. We can study a new language. We can build new friendships or spend more time with current friends. We can speak with grandchildren in person or on Zoom.

Finally, we can find meaning through our attitude toward suffering. As Frankl suffered in concentration camps during World War II, he could control just one item in his life: his attitude. His captors could not take away his ability to suffer with both grace and courage. When life brings suffering, we can find meaning in maintaining an attitude of gratitude.

Over coffee that day, the wistful longing of Emma and Katharine touched my heart. I wondered what I could do. That afternoon I asked a volunteer coordinator at a local thrift store about options for the two women.

“They could volunteer here, and we could find work to match their abilities,” she said. “The public transportation van regularly stops both here and at their residence.”

The next morning, I stopped at their apartments, told them about the option, and provided them with the phone numbers they needed. “It might not be exciting work, but it would be useful,” I told them.

I don’t know if they have taken advantage of the volunteer opportunity.

I do know that making an investigation on their behalf offered a new step in my journey toward experiencing my own purpose in life.

Adapted from Creative Aging by Carol Van Klompenburg, published 2023, available from Amazon.