Creative Aging: Senior Moment Debate
“The effect of cultural expectations on recall and performance is powerful.” —Anti-ageism Activist Ashton Applewhite
Sometimes when older adults have a momentary memory lapse, they say, “Oops, senior moment.” I have said it myself.
I used to think it was a pretty harmless phrase. After all, those memory lapses do occur more often in older adults than in younger ones.
Then I read the research of Yale Psychologist Becca Levy and other aging experts. They say that calling a memory lapse a senior moment may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we think of ourselves as forgetful because of our age, we become more forgetful.
Levy and others call this term a form of ageism. According to Levy, “Ageism is the most widespread and socially accepted prejudice today.”
In a weekly pickleball gathering of mostly older women, we normally number off and then are assigned partners by numbered pairs. Last week, we were assigned numbers, and the person in charge read off the names of paired partners instead of just the numbers.
“Thanks for reading the names instead of the numbers,” said one member, smiling. “I didn’t have to ask you to remind me what my number was!”
“We are starting to need that!” said another. And we chuckled.
I was among those laughing.
Back home, I wondered. Was my laughter about memory lapses also a self-fulfilling prophecy? Does it contribute to my belief in a failing memory? How much does my distrust of my memory affect my memory?
In “Breaking the Age Code,” Levy wrote that she flashed positive words about aging on a screen for one group of older adults for ten minutes, and negative words about aging for another group, too briefly for the people to be aware of them. The people exposed to positive messages showed better recall and more confidence than those exposed to negative words.
Levy also tested the cultural perceptions and memory of three different cultural groups: hearing Americans, deaf Americans, and mainland Chinese. The hearing Americans had the most negative perceptions of aging—and they did most poorly on the memory test.
In other tests, she found that older people with positive views of aging compare favorably with those who have negative views:
- They have better handwriting.
- They walk faster.
- They are more likely to fully recover from severe disability.
- They live an average of 7.5 years longer.
How do we challenge and change our negative views of aging? Levy says the first step is awareness. She says to write down the first five words that come to mind when you think of an older person. Do this quickly without rejecting any of the words that come to mind. Don’t think. Just list. Make your list before reading further.
According to Levy, an awareness of your bias is the first step. If the first three or four words in your list were negative, you probably have negative views of aging.
To increase your awareness, she suggests writing down all the portrayals of aging people you see in a week and making a list of their positive and negative traits.
To counter a negative bias, she suggests creating a portfolio of positive models for aging (maybe five or so) and reviewing this list regularly.
In regard to memory glitches, she cautions not to instantly blame forgetting on aging. It may be that you were multitasking. You might have been distracted.
Besides, younger adults have memory lapses too. Starting in their 20s, all adults have memory lapses. Older adults simply have them a little more often.
You can also counter memory lapses by reframing your self image. Remind yourself of your wisdom moments—when your pass on a bit of information or a thought to a younger person. Reflect on how over the years you have mastered the ropes of different tasks. Think about your uncommon skills, such as the ability to do math problems without a calculator. Relish the empathy and resilience which have come to you over the years. And enjoy each moment of life as it comes to you.
Will I stop using the term senior moment? I think I will. I will probably used the term “memory glitch” instead.
I will not deny others their right to use the term. However, when others call their memory lapse a senior moment, I may gently remind them that they have wisdom moments as well.
Were we ageist at the pickleball courts when we laughed about reading our names instead of our numbers? The women who play certainly don’t see themselves as decrepit. They are, after all, running around on the court and hitting a ball for two hours.
I think one member of that group had it right when she said, “We can all remember our names!” We laughed at her comment, too, but she had reframed the situation for us. She had given us a positive frame to counterbalance the negative one.
The next week, the person in charge read off just the paired numbers to designate partners. And we all remembered our numbers!
Adapted from Creative Aging by Carol Van Klompenburg, published 2023, available from Amazon and for Pella-area residents directly from Carol. Carol has an MA in theater arts and is available for reading performances of her writing on aging, moments in her gardens, and other topics.