Discovering Ageism
Have you internalized ageist ideas?
To listen to an audio version, click here. Carol has an MA in theater arts and is available for reading performances for groups in Central Iowa.
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper: The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. -Andy Rooney
Talk about getting old! I was getting dressed, and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look—and pulled down the shade. -Joan Rivers
Let’s begin with a question. I think one of the above jokes is ageist. Which one is it?
Another question first: What’s ageism? Although the term was coined in 1968 by physician Robert Butler, I hadn’t heard the term until I started researching aging a few years ago.
Ageism is a prejudice, like racism or sexism. According to Butler, it is a process of systematic stereotyping of and discrimination against people because they are old.
Which joke is ageist? Joan Rivers’ joke depends on the stereotype that older people are unattractive.
I must admit, though, when I classify Joan Rivers’ joke as ageist, a skeptic at the back of my brain thinks, Give me a break. It’s just a joke!
But the experts tell me negative stereotypes are hurtful to older people. Our self-perceptions can be shaped by what we hear repeatedly. And a University of Michigan National Poll revealed 82 percent of adults aged 50 to 80 experience one or more forms of ageism daily.
Ageism occurs in more than jokes. It happens in word choice and behaviors as well.
AARP’s magazine classified the following terms for older people as ageist: elderly, adorable, of a certain age, over the hill, blue-hairs, little old lady, old coot, geezer, fogey, codger, and even senior citizen.
Wait a minute, I thought when reading the list, Senior Citizen is an ageist term? Why? So I dug deeper and learned the term “citizen” tends to be associated more with numbers than with humanity. OK, I can see that. Sort of. But for me that is a bit of a stretch. To me it just seems unnecessarily formal.
My other response to the list was Goodness! What terms CAN I use? AARP had a list for that as well: older, experienced, wise, seasoned, sage, mature, perennial, ageless, vintage, and distinguished.
Hmm. Some of those terms work for me, and some seem a bit of a stretch. I can’t see myself calling an older person perennial. To me that is a plant term for a flower that comes up year after year. And vintage is a term I reserve for clothing and antiques. Applied to people, these terms feel a bit clunky.
I decided I was most comfortable with the term “older people,” and probably would likely use that most often.
I scanned the two lists again and realized I question some of the terms in both lists, but I do have a much more negative feeling about being an older person after reading the first list than the second one.
Sally Brown of the Vital Aging Network says some examples of ageist behavior and products are so common—and sometimes well-meaning—we might not even think of them as ageist:
Birthday parties featuring black balloons and over-the-hill gifts. I think back to some over-the-hill gift-giving. Hmm. The laughter of the recipient of some of those gag gifts was sometimes more embarrassed and nervous. It was not a pleasure-filled belly laugh.
Anti-aging products. When I read ads for anti-aging products, I regard my maturity as something negative. As a result, I dislike what I see in the mirror.
Assuming young people are computer geniuses and older people are technologically inept. When I assume my technology skills are lacking, I make it more difficult to master them. Not a good idea!
As I researched ageism, I realized: I am among the 36 percent of older people who have internalized ageist biases.
I also realized I can change, but it will take time.
What about you? Are you with me in discovering hidden ageist bias in yourself? Did you spot the ageism in the Joan Rivers joke? Would you like a second chance? Here are two more jokes. Which is ageist?
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra. -Will Rogers.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. -Phyllis Diller.
May you identify and resist each ageist messages you see and hear!
Adapted from Creative Aging by Carol Van Klompenburg, available at Amazon
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“Discovering Ageism” is adapted from Creative Aging: 52 Ways to Add Life to Your Years, available here.
Being older than you I've experienced hearing many of these terms for years. However, it was very helpful to me in thinking about different stereotypes that are offensive to people of different races which I previously did not think of as being racist. In fact some people were getting upset on FB about people who are definitely not racist and were actually trying to help those who are looked down upon because of their appearance. However, this does not mean I'm going to sit back and say nothing about everything as I might offend someone. There are too many who are just out there to stir up hate and it helps for all of the readers to know that there are others who disagree with that kind of manipulation.