Taking Retirement
“When people retire and time is no longer crucial, their colleagues present them with a watch.”
When I was in my early sixties and I saw friends retiring, I was jealous. That jealousy was a huge shift for me. Three decades earlier, at retirement parties, I had pitied the retirees. “They must feel abandoned,” I thought. “They are like ancient horses, being put out to pasture. This is a time to mourn, not a time to laugh.”
Now, at 63, I thought the grass in that pasture looked lush and green. I was weary of managing the Write Place, a writing and graphic arts service I had launched 20 years earlier. What started out as a fascinating challenge became a wearying grind. I had more energy for a business start-up than for ongoing management.
So, when a talented member of my staff agreed to take over management for me, I was ecstatic. I thought, “Finally I will be able to linger over a morning cup of coffee, enjoy the cardinals and finches at the feeder, and putter in my flower gardens. My happily-ever-after has begun!”
I enjoyed the slow pace for several months, but there was a limit to the amount of lingering and puttering my Type-A personality could enjoy. Life felt hollow.
While working, I had scrounged my days to find time; now I hunted for activities to fill them. I tried exotic coffees, I added new bird feeders, I added flowerbeds, but the emptiness remained. I was contributing very little to the larger world.
In my reading, I have learned my experience was not unusual. A honeymoon phase is typical for people who have grown weary of their jobs. However, for those who have left jobs that still felt fulfilling or been forced to retire earlier than they hoped, the emptiness may be immediate.
Studies show retirement is also tougher if we have made sacrifices in our personal lives for the sake of our jobs.
Retirement, like other major life changes, introduces stress into our lives. It ranks tenth on the Life Change Index Scale. It produces less stress than the death of a family member, but more stress than the death of a close friend.
Some people choose to delay retirement rather than deal with the stress. I know one man who kept working at the same company till he turned 83. He had no children and no hobbies. He liked his work and feared if he retired, he would die. So he happily kept working.
Others choose to ease the transition with “bridge jobs,” often part-time. Some continue part-time at their current company. Others find different, less demanding work. A school principal I know now works as a checkout clerk at a grocery store. He gets to see the parents and children he knew while at school.
Like me, some people find those first weeks exhilarating. They do the home improvement project they have wanted to. They take that dream vacation. They sleep in, linger over the morning paper, and join other retirees for coffee at a local restaurant.
In the long run, though, too much free time can eventually produce the same symptoms as overwork: anxiety, depression, appetite loss, memory impairment, and insomnia.
What is a retiree to do?
I chose volunteering. I volunteered at The Work of Our Hands, a local fair-trade store. I thought it would be a good match for my interest in global justice.
My first assignment: work the retail floor. I trained under a fellow volunteer. She greeted customers warmly as they entered. I envied her friendly charm. I watched them warm to her instantly. “There is no way I can do that!” I thought. “I am invading their space. When I shop, I like to be left alone! Introvert that I am, I could never achieve such instant warmth.”
The manager put me to work in the back room, applying price stickers—not a good match for a perfectionist with five-thumb hands.
I whimpered to the manager, “Do you by any chance have a writing job you need done?”
Yes, she did. The store newsletter had languished for lack of a writer. I grabbed the opportunity. It matched.
It had taken several false starts, but I had found a niche.
Volunteering is not the only retiree option, however. The solutions for using time are many. They include taking a class, finding a part-time job, starting a new hobby, or taking an old hobby to a higher level.
Whatever we choose, we can expect peaks and valleys in retirement living. I was wrong to picture it as happily ever after. Life is no fairy tale. Retirement is just normal life in a different stage with new challenges and new opportunities.
Adapted from Creative Aging by Carol Van Klompenburg, available from Amazon.